No More Heroes: Heroes' Paradise is a throwback to the popularity of video game arcades. Consoles like the Atari 2600, 5200, and Intellivision were fun, yet going to visit the electronic quarter-swallowers was still in vogue. NMH:HP even plays like one of those stand-up arcade titles, which is no surprise once you've seen the Konami tag.
You are Travis Touchdown, and you've just accepted a challenge to fight the top ten assassins in the world, one at a time. After an opening cut scene that will make sense to long-time NMH fanatics, Travis is planted in the mansion of Assassin #10. Like any good arcade game, all of his attacks, healing and recharging are basic, and can be learned on the fly. Skip the tutorial.
The United Assassins Association
Hack-and-slash is a good strategy, at least for a while. There are two difficulty settings; if you just want to pound away casually, take the easy route. The enemies quickly become too tough to bulldoze. Figure out how to dodge and parry. If you're a slow learner, the tenth-ranked assassin will give you a free lesson. The going gets much more difficult.
Side missions are there as a distraction. Only those who fall in love with Heroes' Paradise, and the most dedicated gamers, will engage in these time-gobbling events. You'll get more enjoyment from a boss rush mode, where Travis goes up against a gauntlet of top fighters from the NMH universe. See how you stack up against gamers from around the world with the online rankings.
Probably this game's best feature is its visual beauty. Theater-quality scenes mix with agile controls during game play. Even when Travis is doing and saying the most vile things, it looks good.
Originally published for Nintendo's Wii, NMH: Heroes' Paradise can be played with the PS Move. Travis's blade strikes correspond to your movements. Make sure you've got room to pivot. Your experience may be smoother with the Move than with the usual button-smashing.
Game play can be flawed, especially when delivering finishing moves. The action slows enough to throw off all rhythm. Overall, Travis is maneuverable and light on his feet.
Whether Move or SIXAXIS, you can recharge his weapon's battery by shaking the controller up and down. Onscreen, Travis holds the blade between his knees, copying your motion. No--that's not too suggestive.
Content advisory
Actually, nothing about the game is suggestive. Heroes' Paradise is in your face, all of the time. Video games' NC-17 equivalent, the little-seen Adults Only rating, could have been dusted off for this one.
Gratuitous shots and innuendoes fill the cut scenes. Brooks Brothers-wearing enemies are dismembered and scattered. Travis has the filth-mouth of someone who's trying too hard to shock. But the typical gamer (like the average film-watcher) is quickly desensitized by modern entertainment. So the profanity, near-nudity and vivisected bodies in No More Heroes are little more than parody.
Game designer Suda 51 even added the "Very Sweet" mode to the PlayStation version. Completing the game unlocks skimpy clothing for some of the female characters.
Somewhere, at this very moment, a teenage boy is salivating. Unless you're one of his peers, you won't miss anything if you pass over this guilty pleasure.
Chris DeBrie - Chris DeBrie has written for "The Appalachian", Examiner, and The 12th Man. He is the author of several novels.
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